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Writer's Workshop - I wish someone would have told me...

....that Mr. Right would actually eventually come around. I always felt I knew that he would but no one ever really helped me believe it. I hope that I can help my kids realize that even though the boyfriend/girlfriend that they have now might seem like the right one, chances are when they are older they will have no idea where their current 'love' is. My high school sweetheart was a good guy, class clown someone that everyone wanted to be around. At the time I thought I loved him and I still think I did in some way...but that love does not even come close to the love that I feel for my husband. I assumed after graduation that we would just get married, because it was what you did. Dated someone in HS, went to college, and got married.

Kids, and even some adults, are so quick to jump into sexual relationships and living together and marriage that it's no wander our country's divorce rate is so high. My husband married his high school sweetheart when he was 24 and she was 20, they had a rough relationship during high school and college, but for some reason felt they still wanted to get married. I don't know if they just assumed that what's the next step was or what...but it ended in divorce. They had 3 beautiful girls together, and communicate well because of the girls, be he hates some of the choices she now makes, not only as a mother but a woman.

Getting married young isn't always the way to go. If you are contemplating getting married then I would suggest wait. You have got to be absolutely sure, make sure you can feel it in your gut. No doubts. The right person for everyone is out there somewhere. He/She will come around someday and when they do....you will be the happiest person in the world.

I know I am.

And I don't want you to think I assume all young marriages don't work. My in-laws got pregnant young and married young and they are still together after 35 some odd years. So it can work. The thing is it's just that, work.

So that's my thoughts on this subject for today.

8 comments:

Tiaras and Tantrums said...

great thoughts for the day!
Very true though - - I married my 1st husband b/c he was my college sweetheart - we had been together since high school really, 7 years dating, what do you do - we got married, we should not have, we then divorced 4 years later. Wrong person for me!

Sam_I_am said...

amen, sister. It also bothers me when people get married to have sex. They've decided to wait (which is cool), but they get married fast, so they can have sex. bah.

Jenni said...

I think I have been lucky--I like to think it's 'cause I'm smart. But I got married at 19 after knowing the guy 9 months. We have been together 11 years. . .and couldn't be happier. But I think if I hadn't dated a guy in highschool that was so not right for me I might not have realized how right for me my husband was.

Amy McMean a.k.a McSunshine said...

I'm still holding onto the idea that Mr. right might be out there, but unlike you my family and friends remind me everyday that he is out there. that can get a tad out.

Weeksie50 said...

Your post gave me hope..
I am a 33 year old single gal..
Who just hasn't met Mr. Right.
I have met Mr. everything else though..ugh.

La Pixie said...

I know Ive felt that I would never have anyone... and people would tell me (condescendingly) that someone would come along... and I always felt like, "How do you know? You dont know." but at the same time, I would never rush into anything. a lady once told me not to marry anyone unless Id known him AND his family for at least a year. good advice, I think.

AFRo said...

Married when I was 19... and have managed to stay that way, but I would certainly second your advice because when you're that young, you have no idea what being an adult requires and although most think that's what they want, reality sometimes sucks.

Good Post!

Mama's Losin' It said...

Wow to the marrieds at 19...these days marriages end left and right for tons of reasons. I think marrying young like that would be extra difficult. Kudos to them.

I think whatever age you are when you get married...that a little counseling and preparation is probably important. :)